30 Days of Truth: Day 5

Hello Everyone

30 Days of Truths
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.

Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

 I hope that I can finish school, have a family and travel to Italy, France, Greece and back to Hawaii. I want to be successful in a job I like and would like to be in a circle of friends who love and support me. I want to own a home that I design and create. I would like it to be modern but decorated warmly with pictures and decorations of family, love and faith throughout and on every wall, table and staircase. I would also like to extend my education on my own and go for a Masters or second degree of some sort; certification for psychology. I mainly want to have children to raise and share my livelihood with my husband and help make a stable, lovely life for us through our years, Most of all, I must be happy with whatever kind of life I’m lving, in any situation, I must be happy, content and proud of myself as well. 

 What do you hope to do with your life? One big dream? If you have one please share it! 

30 Days of Truths: Day 4

Hello everyone
This post is again very emotional and trying for me to write but I am trult going to do my best to describe what I have to forgive someone(s) for and why I feel the way I do. I grew up in a very unsteady household at times and went though very traumatic events before high school even started. So there is a lot to explain, hold tight!

30 Days of Truths
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.

Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.


I have to forgive first my mom, for not being the greatest mother I know she could have been and for still trying to be good to this day.  Between her alcoholism and her just snapiness through my life, always felt like I was judged a lot for making a few wrong decisions and for her making me grow up so young and taking care of myself. It’s been hard but time heals all wounds right?

And my husband for our fights/arguments/tizzy fits that hurt and make it hard to get over but they are always over within 5 minutes. I wish I could understand how to be a better wife and how I can help us communicate more clearly. We need to work on that this year, less fighting/arguing and more love/communication. I love you and I know that we are both good people and that’s not the problem. Our problem is our communication…. we get so heated up so quickly… we are tough people to handle- both of us.

And last but not least and most important, my father to forgive him for taking his own life and wishing himself out of this world because he could not handle “life”  at that point without help and was not brave enough or strong enough to ask for it. It sucks to know you aren’t here for my most important life moments and that you are still “looking” down on me yet I cannot call you up, just to talk with daddy. This is most upsetting and its really hard to handle on a day to day basis even 9 years later. I need to grow up and take it a little better. I’m not perfect but I need to move on and not use it for excuses anymore; that doesn’t fly anymore when I’m 22 yrs old and I have to go to school etc. Just know that I miss you daddy and it will never be the same being here on earth without you here to root me on, I really loved that about you. I’ll always be daddys little girl.

I love you daddy. 9/28/02 E.T.L Jr

30 Days of Truths: Something you have to forgive yourself for

something you have to forgive yourself for

Be prepared for this…

Today might be a little heavy emotionally for some of you so I’m warning you right now…. Take out your tissues and hankies girls. I’m about to give you my waterworks. Let me know in the comments below if you can relate and share maybe some of my feelings. If you ever want to talk about anything I’ll always be here for you. This is my safe place and I can bet it’ll be yours too.

30 Days of Truths

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

Forgive

I think I have so much to forgive myself for. I hang onto all my pain for some reason,  I really don’t know what good it does me; when it’s really hurting me instead. The pain of losing my father mostly but other things too. I have to forgive myself for taking so long with the grieving process..Forgiving myself looks like being patient in my healing and not being so hard on myself if I’m not who and where I want to be yet. Making attainable goals and growing in my own self love is a great way to start. Healing and forgiveness is a “forever” kind of thing but it really is hard some days and takes control of my life.

And

I need to also get past the fact that I was hurt  by many other things I’d like to keep private but one of them being bad other relationships. I have been neglected, abused and abandoned. I There are situations when others had it so so much worse than I did. But because my young childhood was so wonderful- it was a shock when it came toppling to the ground. I think moving around so much as a kid and being blindsided with family drama didn’t help either. I was an innocent kid who was completely oblivious.

Heal

The thing that would help me a lot is to start living in the present and I need to let it all go- the pain, shock and disbelief of getting into something that was never meant to be. This isn’t very long but doesn’t need to be, I know what I need to work on and I intend to- starting now.

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30 Days of Truths: Something you love about yourself

Hello Everyone

Today I’m covering another subject that is actually very close to my heart and it has taken a lot for me to learn to have something called “Confidence”. I have not always spoken my mind or been a speak up type of person. But after several people walking all over me and not tolerating it anymore. Sean helped me discover that I deserve more than to be taken advantage of. I deserved to be loved for who I am inside and out. So my answer for this question is below, I saw this quote and had to share.

30 Days of Truths: Love yourself

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

something you love about yourself
Via

So I love the fact that I listen to myself and am starting to stand up for myself more and more. I have never been very confident or had much gusto towards people or family. However I have always kind of caved in and haven’t said anything and how I want things to be. From now on I have started standing up to well, my mother, sisters and friends and now my grandmother who is somewhat overbearing and old fashioned- very hard to deal with or talk sense into.

How I changed it for the better

I am now starting off MY life and making the choices my husband and I want to make. Part of doing this is building boundaries for those people who have a hard time respecting you.  And that feels so good to me and I am proud of myself and will continue to stand up for myself and our life. Therefore confidence is an important thing to have and gain through life so if you just ‘fake it until you make it’- you’ll get to the point where you believe it yourself and then it won’t be so bad.

 Do you think you are confident? How do you exude confidence in your daily life? Show me confidence!

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30 Days of Truths: Something you hate about yourself

Hello

Yet again, I saw something I liked and snagged it; so I hope that “After I Do” blog doesn’t mind that I wanted to tag onto this cool project! I really needed some good inspiration anyhow. I believe these exercises will grow my writing skills. It helps me think on my feet and use all the detail I can to be an effective writer. If you feel inspired please see what you come up with.

30 Days of Truths

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.

Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

One thing I dislike about myself is that I have no patience for anything, I really can’t wait for any kind of reward or step of life. At one point I wanted to move from place to place and then we wanted a baby and I used to want to dance ballet professionally and now I want to be a psychologist. I cannot wait for anything. I have never been a patient person since I was a little girl and threw fits about having to wait for anything. I should try to wait more often and reward myself when I can be patient. I try not to get my hopes up and then dash them when they do not work out. It hurts my insides and its tough on me emotionally. I wish to be more patient.

 What about you? What’s the one thing you dislike about yourself? Share and maybe we share the feeling… 

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