Tag Archives: about me

Anxiety was wrecking my life

disclaimer: I am not a psychologist or physician, I do not claim to be. I had a anxiety and panic attacks for years. I want to share and help others learn what worked best for me.  

anxiety:
noun, plural anx·i·e·ties.

1. distress or uneasiness of mind caused by fear of danger or misfortune: He felt anxiety
about the possible loss of his job.

2. earnest but tense desire; eagerness: He had a keen anxiety to succeed in his work.

3. Psychiatry. a state of apprehension and psychic tension occurring in some forms
of mental disorder.

This was never anything I was prepared to speak on but the more I think about quality of life and content, the more I think about what plagues me everyday: anxiety and worry. 
I was diagnosed at a young age of depression and chronic anxiety (panic attacks), something I’d be living with for the rest of my life. On a yearly level I was probably fine but my daily struggle was and is constant. And if you do not have anxiety or panic attacks you do not understand how severe and intense it can be.

(google)

I became very anti-social and worried all the time that I would have a panic attack out in public, so I sort of stopped going places. I didn’t want to be the panicky one, the scared one or the nervous & quiet one. I had to talk to somebody so I turned inward and online. I also learned that people from a distance couldn’t help me and neither could someone who was not a trained and licensed psychologist or psychiatrist.

(google)

I needed to learn how to cope, gain skills for everyday and try to relieve the panic and worry on top of my personal PTSD symptoms. I would worry so far in advance I started to make myself physically sick with every panic attack. So began the process that led me to get help I missed way too much college classes and I was failing. Not all in part to anxiety, I wasn’t a focused student unless I wanted to be- but getting so anxious about bombing a test would send me to the infirmary with the shakes and tears running down my face. I went to continuous talk therapy and went to two different one on one groups of cognitive behavioral therapy and a psychotherapy or “check in” with my psychiatrist.

I worked and worked at my anxiety plaguing me everyday. I talked through all my problems and where my worry comes from. I found it helped a lot to focus on certain techniques or changes to my lifestyle to balance out my mental health/anciety/depression etc. I practiced a lot of what my therapist called Mindfulness or being and becoming mindful of my feelings, thoughts and actions. It helped more everyday. Deep breathing exercises became like second nature. It was my “go to” technique to help me calm and visualize my problems, worries or issues- literally melting away.

(google)

I also did things like focusing on the here and now versus the future and past- hard to do (yes) but not impossible. Taking each step a day at a time really helps as much as you can, live in the now and that should ease your anxiety. And if you ever need a friend, a shoulder to cry on or someone to vent with- know I’m always here.

Now I manage my anxiety much easier by talking to friends and family often. I was on medication for anxiety which helped ease and make my anxiety attacks disappear. I haven’t had problems with them in a few years, although I still worry and have everyday anxiety when I get stressed. I take care of myself and treat myself often when I’m having a hard time. Something as easy as a hot bath, a glass of wine (or cocktail), or a favorite tv show or spending time with friends or out shopping!
Do what makes you happy. 

I wanna talk “about me”

I’ll start this off with a little babbling. I have a lot going on right now, trying to find a job, paying off debt, working on our marriage, possibly volunteering and making everything work in general. Trying to find a job (or jobs in our case) sucks. It’s hard and tiring and relentless. I can’t seem to find anything or anyone who’ll give me a chance- let alone an interview. I just want a chance, please pray for me. It’s not a pity party but I had to get that out of me for now, so I can quit worrying about it. (since I drafted this, I found a possible lead through our church, so hope that I find something in that avenue!)

Here’s another so many facts or things about me you didn’t need to know:

  • I hate avocados, therefore with Mexican food i’m extremely picky. NO guacamole, NO refried beans… I won’t touch it.
  • You know when you sing in front of people, people think “oh she’s an okay singer” and unless you’ve had training, you say to yourself “I’m an okay singer.” No I know I’m a good singer- therefore I’m really shy when I sing (or hum) in public. I will only belt it out on road trips or in my own home, in the bath or when I’m drunk.
  • I hate needles but love getting tattoos!
  • I have a bi-polar cat (this is a repeat if you’ve read my blog before but, lately she’s been a brat)
  • I am an avid texter and you cannot pry my phone from my hands!
  • I know if I can read a book within the first chapter, this results in my getting rid of so many ‘dull books’.
  • I was not raised in faith or religion- in my immediate family it was never discussed or talked about, I went to Lutheran preschool and learned “this little light of mine” and that was it. Have I yet learned much more? NOPE. 
  • Therefore, I actually like a lot of contemporary gospel and contemporary christian music! And all the top 40 hits, jazz, rap, dub-step etc. I am a lover of everything except heavy metal/screamo.  

                                           

  • I love animal print!
  • I have 6 nieces and 1 nephew…. 4 other siblings of mine.
  • Some people say I look like my mom, but I think I look most like my dad. 
  • I like kiwis, lemons, limes, sour candy and mangoes, peaches- anything tart, sweet or sour!
  • I had one dog growing up a Cavalier Spaniel/Beagle mix-a girl dog named Molly, we had 13 wonderful years with her, she lived with a relative after my father died and I like to think they are in heaven together.
  • I believe in true love. I will never not believe, I was proven wrong when I didn’t believer so…
  • I danced Ballet, Jazz, Tap, African, Bellydance, Contemporary, and Modern… all my life until I was 18.
  • I took French as a language in high school. I wish I remembered any of it!

If you have any questions to ask me- please do! Email me @noraspaulding@gmail.com or just comment.

Liebster Award nomination #2

*Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings? Harry Potter, most definitely. I read all books but last two- same for movies.


*What is your favorite childhood memory?being with my dad so much and since he’s gone now I cherish those times, camping, fishing, biking, hiking, playing catch or watching Star Wars Trilogy together. 

*Do you prefer dogs or cats?  both, i probably prefer dogs though- man’s/woman’s best friend. I love my dogs, my cat however is not a very nice animal but I love her still!


*If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you?  nope. even when I say I would, I lie. It would change the course of everything if I did so what sense does that make.


*What’s your favorite quote? Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you’ll land among the stars. – my dad’s favorite quote for me


*Do you have allergies other than seasonal allergies?  just seasonal, winter mostly. don’t know why though.


*Would you rather run or ride a bike?  ride a bike. hoping hubbs and I can get a pair for summer rides around town.


*Summer or Winter? summer, not enough warmth here in Oregon.


*Sneakers or Flip-flops?  I’d rather wear sneaks.


*What was your favorite toy growing up? I loved barbies and Nintendo games. 


*What inspired you to start your blog? my marriage and a couple friends had their own so I tried it out, I needed a new hobby or past-time. 

I’ll keep this open to anyone who would like to join in. Make your own questions and Join in the fun! Sorry friends, I’m just too busy today to write up any questions. or feel free to use the same questions I used.

liebster award

Hello, I decided to participate in a Liebster Award open nomination from Simply Lyndsay

I was awarded one a month or so ago but totally forgot.

Each blogger nominated must…
– post 11 fact about themselves
– answer the 11 questions the tagger has asked
– create 11 questions to ask the blogger she/he decides to nominate
– choose 11 bloggers with less than 200 followers to nominate and link to them on the blog post
– notify the nominated bloggers
Facts: 
1. I hate avocado. 
2. I will get sick at sight or smell or taste of bananas!
3. I sometimes get lactose intolerance from milk. I get a hacky yucky mucusy throat. 
4. I baby talk animals, pets, zoo, wild ones, birds, squirrels etc. They’re just so cute!
5. I hardly ever eat breakfast and if I do it’s something fast and small. OR breakfast for dinner is awesome too full out feast~
6. I now own 3 apple products, iPhone, iPad and iPod! Next iMac?!
7.I think I sing well and enjoy listening to music so much!
8.I just watched MIB3 and Arthur Christmas and ParaNorman- all great movies, I rarely sit through movies. I watch them at home..
9.I love absolutely love my iPhone!
10.We just adopted our second dachshund. We love her, her name is Maggie!:) 
11. I always forget to switch laundry loads!

 Now questions that Lyndsay asked are:

1. What was your favorite subject in school?

I enjoyed english, writing and humanities/ english lit, and science- always hated math though. 

2. If you could choose any job or career, what would it be?
Psychologist or professional ballet dancer. 

3. What was your favorite toy or game as a child?
I loved barbies and stuffed animals!

I had a bazillion barbies and a bed full of stuffed animals!


4. Pearls or diamonds?
diamonds please, they’re a girls best friend ya know.


5. What’s your favorite song?
recently, “your body” christina aguleria

6. What’s your go to article of clothing or outfit?
a chunky sweater and leggings, boots and legwarmers- so cozy for fall!


7. What’s the best gift you ever received?
 puppy or ipad/iphone 🙂


8. What’s your favorite color?
lavendar


9. How did you come up with your blog name?
 i found the song, loved the lyrics and felt it fit the blog design and what i wanted for it.


10. What’s your least favorite chore?
dishes, erg


11. Chocolate or vanilla?

chocolate all the way!


nominating anyone who would like to do this!


what is your favorite winter activity?

what is your favorite Starbucks drink?

who is your idol?

when/who was your first kiss?

do you have kids? ages/names?

why do you like blogging?

what do you dislike about blogging?

whats your favorite show?

whats your favorite movie?

whats your least favorite chore?

write it down and link it up: handwriting linkup

Write it Down
I stumbled upon this wonderful fun link up so I thought I’d join in! <3 
Hope you like what I have there…

I hope you like it and I spent like over an hour, messing around with it and doodling!:) 

This is a fantastic link up- you should do you own~ and LINK UP! before the 9th!