Tag Archives: marriage

9 Low Key Date Night (or Day) Ideas

9lowkeydatenightideas

How has your weekend been? Relaxing I hope however with the busy holidays coming up it’s easy to forget to spend quality time together alone and without friends, family or little ones around. So I wanted to share “9 low key date night ideas” before and around the holiday season. We’ve done a lot of these ideas, they’re a lot of fun. There’s a few ideas where you might think “that’s not a date..” but I assure you the minute you let go and start having fun together it’ll feel fun and romantic no matter what you’re doing. They are not holiday related at all but some of these can be adapted for the holiday season, I’ll explain. Here’s what I came up with and if you have any others please leave a comment below.

Bowling

I love going bowling! It’s silly, athletic but not difficult and fun if you do decide to go with a group. A group date for this is very acceptable. Even sometimes more fun and competitive when you’re challenging each other. Disco or Glow bowling is even more fun and sometimes even cheaper than a regular rate, it is later but unless grandma and grandpa are coming you’ll be able to manage. Either way I suggest a short game or two as it’s easy to get tired, hungry, grumpy or your hands will start to ache from throwing those heavy bowling balls. The loud music and black light in the fun of bowling just amplifies it for me- try it, if you haven’t ever been!

Go to dinner and a movie

Ah, the classic date, yes but don’t fix what ain’t broke. I’m not much of a movie theatre go-er so we will either rent, buy or stream a movie of our choice. Sometimes having a walk through a store on a special night is fun for us. Simply browsing together and seeing what is out new in,  say Best Buy,  because we are techy-people is a nice cap to the night. Also here’s where we aren’t as adventurous as others; we are picky eaters. So trying a new restaurant usually isn’t high on our list. But you sure could take this time to try new cuisine or have a fancier dessert (which is what we opt for) or drink (sometimes).

Explore

Go on a walk or run a trail you like or have seen before, head to the beach, mountains or desert (whatever is close to you) and enjoy being in nature. Here in the PNW I take it for granted- I think next year that’s gonna change. I love a good walk especially outside in a forest area along a river or stream. Walking our dogs out to a trail or place we haven’t been before to socialize them more if a good idea. They don’t get out enough and honestly neither do we, such homebodies. Fresh air is great for your lungs and makes your body feel new if you’ve been inside for too long.

Taking pictures on outings like this can be really nice by going making memories and getting each other and the scenery on film (digital) is a keepsake! So be sure to bring your camera, phone or other polaroid for taking pictures.

A large garbage bag or plastic sandwich bag (to drape over your camera in case of rain) less likely to get damaged by any rain or moisture. I suggest wearing good shoes (not flats) like tennis shoes, hiking shoes or boots. Downplaying the weather conditions can be easy to do but also will ruin your trip. Don’t hike anywhere you aren’t familiar (or at all) without a buddy. Also a day hike is better, so no hiking at night. 🙂 Be safe!

Cook together/Meal prep together

If you both love to cook then this is a great date night activity. Go to the store together-gather your ingredients, make something a little fancier, try a new recipe. Normally I’d want to follow a recipe if you’re like me, experiment and have fun. Meal prepping can be tedious but with a partner you can nearly cut your time in half! I don’t meal prep but I think this would be fun (also if we had a bigger kitchen). Depending on your kitchen, have your husband grill, fry or boil noodles. While you can cut, chop or blend whatever else you need. Once your done spend time together by having a glass of wine and talk about what the week looks like.

Rearranging your furniture

This is one I wasn’t sure I should include. I know that we really enjoy doing this together when we need to shake things up. If your selected room let’s you change the layout with your furniture-it’s fun to shape shift your living space. Usually in our bedroom we will put the bed on a different wall or move our dresser to a new spot. Living rooms are easy to do by moving or combining pieces in new formations in your open space. Just make sure you can still open doors and windows. Don’t cover any heater vents or wall heaters- be conscious of that! Safety hazard! I kind of believe in my own version of Feng Shui- just by moving things and vacuuming the floors, I feel newer in the fresh environment. It gives you a new mindset I think. This is probably most low key of all- but I enjoy it the most!

Create a playlist

Date night playlist? Travel mix? For special adult time? Select songs that you both like. For some couples that’s harder than others but it’s okay put a big mix of everything in there for each style. I think if you can handle each other day to day, you can handle a three minute song you don’t like. I have a few bands that I know we both like and he made me a playlist called  “in the car music” it was a sweet sentiment. A guy can also apply this idea to a girl/woman he likes- everyone loves a good mix tape/cd/playlist.

Play video games or board games/card games

This is a great idea if you’re a gamer like my husband is. Playing games together can be inviting and fun, challenging and innovative. Go buy a game together and have the stronger player help the other. Guide them through and have fun overall. Grab a variety of snacks (healthy or not) and enjoy spending time doing what the other enjoys. Board games can also work if you have friends or family nearby. Cards are a go-to staple when things are boring and slow. They are great for your mind as well, quick for wit so shuffle out the Gin Rummy or there’s always Go Fish!

Street fairs/Farmers/Saturday markets

Farmers markets are usually seasonal but can also open your mind to new food and produce or canned goods that you may not see otherwise. It nice to walk around locally on a spring or summer day looking through all the vendors. Saturday markets (like the one here in PDX) has a wide selection of food, goods and services as well as specialty things like face painting for young kids. Look up online under your city index and see if there’s one near you. They could be weekly, monthly, or during a particular season or sort of festival.

Mini Golf

Just another time to be goofy and silly with one another. Stay light hearted and have fun without being competitive. It’ll take her 25,000 times to get that ball into the lighthouse but come behind her and swing with her. Show her your sweet, helpful nature and be affectionate.

I hope you’ll try some of these next time you need a night (or day) out. Take pictures and make new memories. Never forget to nourish the relationship you’re in. It’s too easy and damaging to be too complacent. Enjoy each other especially when times during the holidays can be so stressful.

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10 reasons why he’s not “The One”

One of my newest closest friends helped me think of this topic as we were laughing over silly old relationships and our pre married/dating online selves. Before we knew better- it’s no offense, but it can be brutal and thesse are just some seriously basic guidelines while they may be funny; they are real and they mean something so read and pay attention.

1. If your friends don’t like him and have legit reasons (even if they don’t usually it’s a sign..)
If they say things like “I have a bad feeling about him”, then you must listen to them. Those gut responses especially from those we love and trust most are right on the money. Possible dealbreakers here: has no job, no home, no means of income, is a lazy deadbeat or has a lot of personal problems (family drama, baby mama drama, a record or other serious isues). Yes this seems pretty easy but what’s the number one thing we women do- we fix men or like to think we can, you never will so STOP NOW and move on to someone who’s worth your time and energy.

2.You have more bad days than good ones
You fight day in and day out, all the time, over big stuff, little stuff-it doesn’t matter. Around your friends and family, you never make up and it makes for tension in the relationship. It’s a hard rut to be in- if  you are circling the drain everyday… counseling could help but it’s up to you to descern whether it is worth your love and energy.

3. If you bought your own engagement ring (literally out of your pocket) 
Okay this might seem funny to you, but I’m including it because this happened to me. At the time, I never thought it was a big deal since we’d be together forever right? WRONG. Well I first wasted my own money and second, it wasn’t a very serious situation- it was a last minute jump the gun-hey why not kind of decision. Plus he never seemed to excited about the true nature of it anyway. These are not good ways to start an engagement and while I’m not super old fashioned, you should not pay for your own ring and you should have a proper engagement. Needless to say it didn’t end well- he never loved me, cheated on me and the whole relationship was toxic and a waste of feelings,It was a big joke and my $500 I never got back after reselling my ring.

4. His family doesn’t like you (or vice versa, this is a big one usually very significant)
If you wake up one day and his family doesn’t like you and has some problems with you. Or treats you like absolute crap 24/7-this is a BIG problem. You don’t deserve to be treated like that ever but it’s no way to enter a union. Well for the most part, if these feelings or the way they are treating you (or him) is causing serious problems, don’t expect it to change, it won’t. Don’t waste your time trying to please someone who won’t ever see eye to eye. Families don’t always get along but if it’s been a regular thing the whole relationship and you can’t work through it- then just move on. Make yourself happy first and foremost.

5. He doesn’t ever hear a word you say
When he tunes you out all the time and he never hears you ask him what time your in laws are coming or if he mowed the lawn or when to pick the kids up… it’s an issue. One you can work through but sometimes there is no getting through to them. Not a sexist, women sometimes do this too- but men do it more often than not.

6. You are a “friend” around his buddies or downplays your relationship
When he hides the true nature of his relationship with you in any way to anyone he knows.. it truly means, he does not want to share you or the role he plays or is straight up ashamed of you. Another way to lose you real fast, not a way to treat a partner/girlfriend/spouse. I got the “friend” card many times when I was still dating and it doesn’t feel very good. If he doesn’t want to label or be honest and faithful-just don’t even bother. They won’t change or they are a player and don’t wanna be tied down/afraid of commitment.

7. If any one thing (gym, video games, friends, going out, work etc) is often more important than quality time together
When any one priority is more important than you constantly and interferes with your relationship- it’s time to re-evaluate. Most times this isn’t a problem and can be resolved. But once again, one experience I had I dated a gym junkie and my relationship didn’t exsist because of this obsession with getting buff/fit/lifting everyday, multiple times a day and had no time ot energy left for me. He would regularly put me on the back burner even when we had plans just so he could go workout. If something is trumping your relationship, think about how important it is and talk it oit. If they won’t change just let it be. They clearly have more growing to do before they are ready for a relationship that takes time.

8. He’s a party animal/drinker/uses drugs and won’t stop or denies a problem
It;s totally self explainatory. He needs help. He is not in shape to care for himself let alone another person.

9. If he is missing any one of these things (or all of them): a job, a home, or has NO sense of style 
Many guys have no sense of style, this can be fixed and remedied. Not a big deal really But the other two just go to show that he can’t provide or has no self esteem, is not driven in his life. How can you rely on someone for the rest of your life if his life is already so unstable. Yes, the economy has been bad. Given those situations-I’m talking about the guys who don’t even try. They just sit around waiting for life to hit them in the face and want to be babied until the day they die. Believe me, you don’t want a boyfriend you have to constantly pay for, babysit and assist in every way. It’s no fun-been there, done that!

10. He ever hits you, talks down to you/verbal abuse or makes you feel insignificant in any way
No one should ever make you feel small in any way, shape or form. Physical violenceis NEVER okay and neither is the subtle more torturing mental and verbal abuse. Pay attention to the signs! Sometimes you feel you can’t get out, no help or are not strong enough to be by yourself-please just get yourself safe. That is always your only #1 priority. You cannot ever fix or change someone who will hurt you like this. Get out now!

So in conclusion, if you have someone (like I do) that makes you feel like a million bucks, is sweet, considerate, always surprising you and making you a better person accepting all your flaws-no matter how bad they are, then consider him a KEEPER! And brag about him daily, talk him up and treat him like the KING he is! I love you honey-I’m so lucky to have you in my life…

On loving others…

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I found this on StumbleUpon– if you don’t know what this is, you should. Go check it out right now! It scrambles everything on the internet based on your interests and hobbies, it’s really awesome. I get sucked into the abyss all the time, it becomes really fun! This is a list of how you can love people on a day to day basis: I’ll include the source, of course so you can go check it out but here’s the ones I think I need to try out or work on… humbling, hmm?

 1. Tell someone that you respect them, and be specific about what it is you respect. Look them in the eye when you say it. [those little things go unnoticed or not said often enough…]

2. Leave handwritten notes for family or friends…in pockets, lunch pails, tacked on the refrigerator…funny, fun, loving notes. [I would love this, so who am I to not do this for anyone else?]
3.Volunteer. Somewhere. Anywhere. [working on this as we speak, I’m going to watch my nieces more often and maybe volunteer at the local library]
4. Smile and laugh. It brightens the day of those around you. [I’m not a huge smiler, I only smile when I’m reallly excited or when I laugh, which is rare as well; is that really sad?!-don’t answer that.]
5. Be fully present when in someone’s presence.
6. Give credit where credit is due. Acknowledge someone when they’re not expecting it.
7. Always exercise best judgment. [sometimes I don’t think before speaking or doing…]
8.  Be clear with your words. If you feel your words have been misinterpreted…ask. Then clarify, don’t defend or justify. [Never assume, makes an ASS out of U and ME] Build bridges not walls. [I’m not good at this…. need to work on it in our marriage]

9. Allow people to finish their sentences.  [I talk  over people and interrupt WAY too much- again working on it!]
10. Applaud effort, empathize with struggle and encourage action. [I need encourage my husband more and empathize with him and how hard he works for us, I love him]
11. Pay-it-forward, in action, deed, word and gift. If someone has admired something of yours and you’re ready to set it free, set it free to the person whose life will be enriched by it.

[I plan on it… 🙂 ]
12. Apoligize when you should. [I need to be better at this, I am so stubborn]

 These are only a few-the list is much longer. But these things I need to work on… go check out this page and become addicted to StumbleUpon like I am, it’s so wonderful! Nice for boring days or restless nights! ADD me!
Find me here thepetitemrs
Thanks!

Love lets the other win-Day 12 of The Love Dare

This may come as a shock to you (definitely, maybe) but I have a extremely hard time giving up control with most things. I cant ever pick a restaurant but with things on the daily (chores, routines, etc) are my territory and I think I needed to let go a little bit. I should learn to be patient and bite my tongue and more importantly trust. But I have a hard time with these things so when I received this Love Dare I decided I would fully put my heart into doing the task and make the most of it, take it seriously and really think on the results.

That being said, the minute I received the Love Dare- it was being tested so I went for it. My husband had just gotten a new job not but a week ago. A good job and one he likes a lot more than any before so when he said he was going in to basically “train” and gather what you could say INTEL, on the products and services provided. My first instinct was to automatically ask and fuss about being on the clock for training since it was a few days before he’d officially start. I thought “wow, we’ll be missing out on a few days worth of pay and well we really need that right now.” That did come from a selfish place and I didn’t see an upside, until I thought about the Dare. We did sorta disagree (not an argument but I gave in pretty quickly and decided it wasn’t gonna be a big deal). So I gave in, I decided to trust him and still it was the better decision I made. It put faith in him as my husband and it wasn’t the worst thing ever- he gained the confidence to go in and work a new job that he had just learned about and wanted to dominate. I was patient and knew there is more to life than money, (it is a part of living) but even so I agreed the training early was best. For the first time in a long time I felt like I could lean on him and knew it’d be alright. Trying times are upon us but  absolutely no matter what WE WILL SURVIVE.  That is what I learned from this journey.
Blessings and peace.
Talk soon friends.
<3 All my love.

WEEK 2 #bloggerlovedare lineup

Week 2 of the Love Dare is upon us! I’m so proud of all of you striving to have a better marriage. For me, week 1 is/was HARD. It was telling myself to swallow my pride, admit that I am adding to the unhappiness in my marriage & being able to be brave enough to let my walls down to make the commitment to give 100% everyday. So, cheers to week 2 – we’ve got an amazing lineup of bloggers taking on this week!
lovedare2

 

HERE IS THIS WEEKS LINEUP:

Day 8: Love is Not Jealous
LDtracyBLOG // FACEBOOK // TWITTER // INSTAGRAM // PINTEREST
LD8

Day 9: Love makes good Impressions

LDmeganBLOG // FACEBOOK // TWITTER // INSTAGRAM // PINTEREST
LD9

Day 10: Love is unconditional
LDlisaBLOG // YOUTUBE // TWITTER // INSTAGRAM
LD10

Day 11: Love Cherishes
LDbethani
BLOG // FACEBOOK // TWITTER // INSTAGRAM // PINTEREST

LD11

Day 12: Love lets the other Win
LDnora
BLOG // FACEBOOK // TWITTER // INSTAGRAM // PINTEREST
LD12

Day 13: Love fights Fair
LDannieBLOG // FACEBOOK // TWITTER // INSTAGRAM // PINTEREST
LD13

Day 14: Love takes Delight
LDsabrinaBLOG // FACEBOOK // TWITTER // INSTAGRAM
LD14

And that completes our Week 2 printables line up! Good luck this week! Make sure you stop by each of these amazing girls blogs this upcoming week for a breakdown on each Day’s dare. There will be thoughts on marriage, relationships, love & the best thing you can give your marriage: perspective. ALL of us are here with a ready hand and eager ear if you need someone to talk to. Reach out.

Follow #bloggerlovedare on Instagram for a quick & easy way to keep track of what day we are on. We will see you there.